The third preseason game is regarded as the dress rehearsal to Week 1, but it usually matters as much as a rehearsal dinner for a wedding. Everybody shows up, tries do their part, but forgets everything they just learned because everyone just wants to get to the bar.
Let’s just assume that was the case last night, as the Browns proved that playing Keno in a bar by yourself is by far a much more exciting time than watching exhibition football.
With that in mind, here’s some serous, and not so-serious takeaways from the game:
• Did coach Mike Pettine tell Brian Hoyer the job was his? There were times it didn’t look like, as just the aura of Money Manziel was causing the Cleveland native to miss some throws and make bad reads.
• With a 7-yard touchdown scramble, Johnny Manziel showed why he will be overdrafted by somebody in your fantasy football league.
• If you see Nate Burleson, please contact local authorities. He has been missing all Training Camp.
• We all want Justin Gilbert to be a shut-down corner right now, but it’s worth remembering he is a rookie. None-the-less, a fearless prediction for Gilbert: He will spend more time practicing tackling this week than he did his entire college career at Oklahoma State.
• If the Browns replace their offense with their special teams kick return unit, a 10-6 record could be feasible.
• Michael Sam sacked Manziel and then taunted the No. 22 overall pick by flashing his famed “Money” salute. Rest assured that ESPN has programming covered for the next 72 hours as the play will get more press than the Kennedy Assassination.
• Armonty Bryant did fantasy football owners who haven’t drafted yet a favor by showing the fragility of Sam Bradford. Bryant hit Bradford high–a clean hit–but Bradford’s knee seemed to get twisted in the grass.
• The big winner of the night? Browns president Alec Scheiner. Those scoreboards look pretty cool.