Cleveland Indians: 3 names the club needs to avoid if a change happens
By Chad Porto
The Cleveland Spiders
Why anyone wants to go back to this name baffles me. It’s truly atrocious. The Spiders? Really? That’s the cool mascot name you want? Why? Because it’s old? No, that’s a dumb reason. The team name needs to evoke something profound. Something unique and marketable. Something that doesn’t seem like it was made by an arachnologist.
The Spiders have no real lore in Cleveland. They existed for 12 years before 1900 and were such a disgrace they were reduced to a minor league team before being phased out of existence entirely when they were scrapped and sold after the owners gutted the team. They’re a literal embodiment of failure, greed and poor management. It’s like calling your boat the Titanic II.
It isn’t going to go over well.
Beyond that, it’s just a lame name. It’s one that will do more harm than good and will end up turning off investors and fans from coming on board. Considering that arachnophobia is one of the ten most common fears, naming your team after something that could potentially scare not just children but adults away is asinine. Could you just imagine giving your daughter a Spider-Slider doll and her screaming for hours on end because of how grotesque it looks?
“The Cleveland Spiders, fun for some ages.”
That’s a terrible catchphrase and even worse idea for a team name.